Chapter 5: What Uplifts You?

**For some reason this post isn't showing my enters so now it looks like one large paragraph**

Sorry I let two months pass by with out posting. It is crazy how fast time goes by & at the same time how Lazy I can be. Well, I do hope to get back on track & continue documenting my "Year of Hope" & although I still feel strong about staying Positive & Hopefull, I did have a moment where I let my old feelings come back. In January, Mike & I were ready to get more "Aggressive" in our treatments both physically & financially & even though we knew it was all in the hopes of getting us a 20% chance at pregnancy we felt really good. I started thinking of ways to decorate the nursery & what weekends we would go to St George & Logan to tell our families. In a way we started planning our future as a 'Family'. Well, to keep this story from going on & on, the treatments we did were not successful. I was, in a sense, Devastated that it didn't work. How could I feel soo good about it & then not have it happen?? How can the Dr's create the Perfect environment for Pregnancy & have it be unsuccessful?? All of these questions were being asked to myself & apart of me was Angry. Angry that we had to even discuss the "Are you ready to try again next month?". Well truth be told i wasn't ready...I was too busy being stuck in my Stubborn ways!! I was talking to my sweet Sister & she told me about a great article in that month's ensign. It discussed trials & ways people have overcome them. That got me to thinking & I decided it would be fun to have all of you share stories, quotes, thoughts, songs, etc. that seem to help lift you up when you are feeling a bit Down. I am in Primary now & although the kids say the sweetest things that tug at your heart strings, I miss the great lessons in RS. I always felt rejuvinated each Sunday. Now I know my focus is different & is more on the kids, I miss the inspiring words Sisters would share so I am using this blog as a chance to hear those things again. Let it all out!!! What is your little "Go to" when you feel not up to the Challenges of the day? Here are a couple that I actually heard recently that I loved... Last month at our Stake Women's Conference we had some Fantastic Speakers. One of those speakers was Bro Wilcox, although I forgot to write down his credentials I beleive he is a teacher at BYU & this guy was Amazing. Every line that came out of his mouth was Awe Inspiring, but I think this one struck me the Hardest..."Saying you can meet God Halfway, is like a Jockey saying "HE" is going to win the race & Forgeting that HE is riding a horse". Isn't that beautiful?? We don't do ANYTHING alone or without the help of our Heavenly Father. He is ALWAYS there!!!! Then just today we had a talk by one of the High Counselman (I can't remember his name but he is my favorite one to listen to), he said something like this (paraphrasing), "Many people Focus on the Trials of Tomorrow & the Failures of Yesterday, when they need to be focusing on being the Best they can be Today!" I really liked that. I know there were times in my life when I was stronger in certain areas than maybe I am today & then I say alot that tomorrow I will start dieting, or tomorrow I will make sure to read my Scriptures or Tomorrow.... (you get the point). When what is important is what I am doing Today :) I hope that you will share with me your thoughts, quotes, stories, etc that always seem to motivate or help you when you need it most.

Christmas in February....

So I have been meaning to do this post for over a month now but our Internet SUCKS & so it takes FOREVER to load pictures so this just kept getting pushed to the side & well...I really do want this blog to still show all the fun times in our lives as well & since Christmas & Birthdays are my FAVORITE holidays I wanted to make sure to still post on this (and I think it was time to get some fun pics back on this blog!)



Now I will try to make this as short & sweet as possible but still give you (and myself) an idea of how things went....First off Mike's 29th Bday was in December & although we did not do any big birthday parties I think this was one of my favorite birthdays I have done for him yet!! I decided to do a fun Birthday Scavenger Hunt for him (thanks Whit for the idea) & I will have to say it turned out really good. Since he was turning 29 he had 29 clues which started from the moment he woke up & lead him to his different designations as the day went on. I won't go through the different clues because I do want to attempt to make this post not a mile long but the clues led him to Breakfast at Kneaders & then a nice Movie on the couch (while i was at Primary activity days) then Minature golfing where his mom & dad was also an added surprise, then to dinner & back home...I know that doesn't sound too crazy but remember there were 29 clues so there was a lot of added little bits of fun in the middle as he did it. Happy Birthday Honey!!! Even though you are now 29 & 2 months old I hope you enjoyed your bday as much as I did :)





Then came Christmas in St George. One of the memories i want to remember is going to Tuachan to watch the live Nativity. It is nice to be able to be outside durring Christmas & not FREEZING so we took advantage of it and went & watched the live nativity. It was cool because Tuachan never does anything halfway - they had REAL Camals & everything! It was so funny because my Adorable little niece, Paige, kept yelling (through the whole production) - "I can see Baby Jesus!" or "Where is Baby Jesus". If you haven't been to Tuacahn it is a Huge outdoor theater & I am sure everyone could hear Paige. Then came Santa...as you can see by the pics Little Landon is just a Curious George & couldn't quite make sense of this white bearded, rosey cheeks, wearing a furry hat old man. Then there was Paige. She Loved Santa when she saw him at the Mall earlier that month but not tonight but it still made for a cute memory :)





What I love about Christmas is all the Traditions! It doesn't matter how old we get we still do alot of the same things every year which includes making Grandma's Famous Danish Pastry, having the typical Family Christmas Eve Party, Getting new PJ's, making fun of Grandma's many faces & of course Amber & I thinking we are "Oh So Cool" while taking our typical pics...Yes a Good Christmas Eve Indeed!!





But who doesn't LOVE Christmas morning!!! It was great being with my family because Amber's kids are too fun to watch & Paige is definately at that Fun stage! And even though Mike & I decided to have a "small" Christmas this year, I would be lieing if I said Santa didn't spoil us...but sadly Santa almost did forget me this year :( Let me explain...so the night before I helped my Sister set out all the fun "Santa gifts" for her kids & she was in charge of bringing out Mike's "Santa gifts" when we went to bed. Before we went to bed, Mike brought out my Christmas stocking & had it covered with a plastic bag & just placed in the corner not really by presents. I didn't think much of it because Mike always has plans & I was certain when I woke up & came out my stocking would be neatly placed with my Santa gifts as well....Well...I did wake up & I did come out but to my sad self my little old stocking was still sitting in the corner all alone with the plastic bag on it. And I know that Christmas isn't just about the gifts, but Come on! I had to have atleast ONE gift under the tree!! Well I tried to not show my confussion & we opened all our gifts & I had fun watching Mike's face with all his Santa gifts but then all the gifts were opened & I still didn't have any Santa gifts for me :( ..... LUCKILY, after all that Mike snuck away and he came out with 2 big gifts for me!! (apparently the Santa who was in charge of bringing out my gifts - let's call him JOSH - Forgot & Mike thought maybe he hid them under the tree but he didn't so Mike went back and found them for me)...Anyways it was pretty funny & I did get my sewing maching plus an unexpected Coat so it all worked out :) (yes, I really do know what the True meaning of Christmas is...Really...I doo!!)



And Yes those are pics of us golfing as well. You see in St George they experience a thing called "Warm Christmas's" & you usually don't see a thing called "Snow", so to really enjoy Christmas Day we went out Golfing. I will have to say that Mike will want to enjoy Christmas this way every year now & truthfully I enjoyed myself as well :) Thanks Mom & Dad for a GREAT Christmas!!! (it's better to say it Late then Never...Right?)

And if you are still reading all this I have to say that I really enjoyed reading your comments from my post below! I really do have the Best Friends & Family & I really have enjoyed all of your great advice!!!

Chapter 4: What would you do?

Ok...I promise that my next post will contain some fun pictures on it & be more about what we have done or are doing (my hubby wants to make sure I keep posting pics on the blog as well) BUT for now, since I don't have much time but I wanted to get a post done I decided to ask you all a question....

So I always hear these phrases (or something close it), "I wish we would have done that before we had kids...." or "You are so lucky you don't have kids yet because you can do so many things..."

So My question to you is "WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE IF YOU COULD GO BACK TO BEFORE YOU HAD KIDS??" I am sure Travel is a popular answer but I really want you to think about this. Because I don't want to look back & realize that I missed so many opportunities during this time because I was just focused on the "having kids" issue. And I constantly find myself saying things like, "If we had kids I would do This or I would learn more about This!" Etc..Etc... I need to change my focus so I am going to lean on YOU to help me do this ;)

So....Tell Me :) (and you don't have to have kids to answer this because chances are you may already be doing that thing you would do ;)

Hugs & Kisses - Traci

Chapter 3: My "HOPE-A-lutions"

Ok so with this "Year of Hope" comes my "Hope-A-Lutions" (go on you can say it...Yes this was very creative of me...haha). There are probably MANY but I'm going to stick with some of my current top few. I figured if I told them to you it will be even more embarassing when I don't atleast Try to accomplish them but at the same time since they are "HOPE-a-lutions", I am really just hoping I can accomplish them all, but if I don't - I will survive!!! (did anyone else just hear the song "I Will Survive" in your head??)

Now in no Particular Order....

• HOPE-A-Lution #1 - to keep my Year of Hope going by keeping this blog updated & keeping it Real!!! and hopefully to keep it fun enough that it is worth reading :)


• HOPE-A-Lution #2 - Read my scriptures more often (I don't know why this is hard for me but in Primary the theme is "I Know the Scriptures are True" & so we have challenged the kids to read the entire Book of Mormon this year so with them I have pledged to do the same)


• HOPE-A-Lution #3 - To figure out how in the Heck to Use this thing!! (and hopefully how to make really cute things with it too) This was my Christmas Gift & much Wanted Gift from my loving Hubby....

I will have you know that I have threaded my first bobbin & I threaded the machine & accomplished my very first mini sewing project (picture to come) on my very own. And I am blessed w/ good friends that know what they are doing & so hopefully with the help of my dear friend Kim (and hopefully a few others) I will become a SEWING MASTER!!!! Again...These are just Hopes ;)

• HOPE-A-Lution #4 - To keep up with my Workout Routine!! I won't say I want to lose X amount of pounds because I always get frustrated but I do want to feel healthy & feel good so with the Hope of continually working out I am sure I will lose weight & I will feel Great :)


• HOPE-A-Lution #5 - That "this Thing" will happen for us!!!! (if you don't know what I am referring to, please refer to Chapter 1) And I hope to stay Positive even if it does not :)

Ok I think that is enough for now, but since my Birthday is this week I have One request to ask of You! AS A GIFT TO ME GO OUT & DO SOMETHING NICE FOR YOURSELF & then come back & tell me about it :) It doesn't have to cost money (or it can) but have fun with this & do something that makes you HAPPY atleast for a small moment :)

Hugs & Kisses - Traci

Chapter 2: The Voice in My Head...

So I've been doing a lot of "thinking" during my nice little Holiday break from work & the other night when I was "thinking" instead of sleeping I discovered something...the Voice in my head is not the same voice I hear when I am talking or the voice I hear when I hear me on video or something (BTW that voice is very whiney & more high pitched than the voice i hear when I am speaking...I apologize that this is the voice you all get to hear when I speak). The voice I hear when I am talking to myself in my head is very calm & full of lots of wisdom. Everything she says is Awe inspiring!! She is the reason I decided to start this New Year of Hope! She told me it was a great idea & that i had lots of things to say. But then after I wrote my first post I got a little nervous. I kind of felt like she had lead me down a dumb path but then I read all your comments & you were all very sweet & gave me a stamp (there must be a better word i could put here) of Confidence so Thank You!! I really do appreciate you!! Now if only I could get the voice in my head out so you could hear her! Really she is fabulous & she uses such good Grammer & is Whitey & Fun!! So tell me, what is the Voice in your Head like?? (Please tell me you speak to yourself too - haha)

Moving On...

My Aunt Renae sent me this fun/great clip to watch & I really did enjoy it. Thank you Renae!! I think I will have to add this as a subtitle to my Year of Hope & that is "Look Not Behind Thee"...

If you want to check it out it is found here: http://lds.org/pages/look-not-behind-thee?lang=eng

Hugs & Kisses!! Traci

Chapter 1: A New Year Means A New Beginning...

This really is a New Beginning for me! If you haven't noticed I haven't blogged in like 8 MONTHS! When I started Blogging I was somewhat of an Addict! I couldn't wait to Publish my next Post & read all of the fun comments!! I also Loved reading everyone else's blogs & learning about the great things that were happening in their lives! I spent way to much time reading blogs, commenting & posting on my own. But what I did have was a Journal!! Or we could say a Time line of all the fun things we had enjoyed in our lives but then slowly a Vicious thing started to happen.... I allowed myself to start comparing my life with those around me & I started asking myself the questions of "When is that going to happen for us"..."What is in store for us" And then sadly the "Why has it not happened for us??"

I forgot the reason why I started this blog and that was so I could remember the great times Mike & I have had together & all the little memories that I wanted to remember & be able to share with all of you. Well this year is going to be different. This really is my Journal (and that's mostly to the fact that I am HORRIBLE at keeping a journal) & this really needs to be about Me & my little family (Mylo included). I LOVE the great comments you have all left me in the past & sadly because I haven't posted in such a long time I am sure less of you will be looking at my blog &/or commenting but that is Ok. I hope that you won't mind if I am a little more personal & less filled w/ just "fun" pictures. Hopefully I will say something inspiring in one of my Tangents but most importantly I hope that I Grow this year!! Obviously I won't be growing in Height (sadly I have come to terms with my short self) but I hope to grow in my Relationships, the Gospel & Myself. I am declaring this year as my "Year of Hope!!!" Thanks to my Dad!!

Recently my dad & I had one of those talks that you hope to get to enjoy with your parents & those close to you every now and again. It was those kind of talks where laughter was heared & tears were shared. It had been a really long time since I had really "spoken" to my father & although he is a great Dad, I always find it easier to talk to my Mom but I'm glad we had this opportunity. Although we talked about alot of things one of the things that stuck w/ me the Most was to "Never Lose Hope!" (that was mostly due to my father making sure I wouldn't forget that) but he is Right! The second you Lose Hope you Gain Self Doubt & the Desire to Press Forward.

I think I should back up for a moment...I feel that this may be coming across as I am depressed or that I am not enjoying my life but those things are not True. I am very happy in my life & feel blessed each & everyday. There is just one big part of my life that I feel I am lacking in or wish I had more control of. This one thing has become like a black cloud over my head & at times makes my vision a bit blurry & unable to focus on the Good things in my life or unable to Truly enjoy the blessings in the lives of Others. That one thing is my Yearning & Desire to start our family (I told you this would get personal). I do feel that trials are important & if handled correctly they can truly strengthen you & make you better & so I really am trying to stay positive but each month that passes by, the harder it becomes but with my New Year of Hope!! I am going to try really hard to not let that happen. There are too many good things happening around us & too many things Mike & I have yet to experience together that I Hope this new Focus Can be a Good One & WILL be a Good One!! I just feel that documenting & talking about this will be somewhat like "my therapy". Don't worry my post aren't going to all be about this "one thing" or if I will even talk about it much, but I do hope that by you understanding the background to where all this is coming from that I can share more of myself with you :)

So I hope you are prepared for alot of sentences that start out with the words "I feel" & "I hope" because my hopes & feelings will be shared. I appreciate all of you & hope you can go on this journey with me :)

Love You All!!! Traci

Tanner Family Pics

The weekend of Tyson's Farewell we had Family Pictures done. It is crazy to see how big our family has grown & it is still growing!! I think each time we get our pics taken it gets harder & harder because the # of Grandkids keep growing but I think everyone had a real fun time.

Take a look at some of my Fav's:

The Tanner Family

The "Original" Tanners

The Grandkids

The "Outlaws" (I know Becca can't wait to have another girl be in this photo w/ her)

The ones who Began It All... (I think this pic really shows their personalities)

Jennie's Family (Quade, Jennie, Kenna, Scott & Kayla)

Steve's Family (Riley, Steve, Becca, Oakley)

My Family (Traci & Mike)

Amber's Family (Paige, Josh, Landen, Amber)

Tyson's Family (ok he doesn't have his own yet, so we improvised :)

The Tanner Boys

The Tanner Girls

And just a few more photo's that I thought were sweet:

Big Sis & Little Brother

Daddy's Girls...

Does Mike look guilty of something?....

I sure LOVE THIS FAMILY!!!!!

Farewell to One & Welcome to Another...

I have TONS I could post about the other week (April 25th - 1st) but just to get something up (it really is overwhelming to think about how much I could post) I am going to hit on the Top Highlights...

TYSON ENTERED THE MTC!!!

I have already said this a Hundred Times but I can't believe my little brother is old enough to go on a Mission!! He has been in the MTC 2 weeks now & from what I have heard (has only emailed the padres so far) he is doing Great!! He is really learning fast & can't wait to get out to Canada! It is weird to have him Soo close but not be able to see him but I am grateful we were able to see him & be w/ him as we 'kicked him off' at the curb...ok we didn't really kick him off at the curb but with the new 'policy' we did say our goodbyes at the curb. Along w/ my parents, my little sis and her family came up as well (more things I will need to post on a later date) & Steve & his fam were there too. It was great to have everyone there (sorry Jen) & I know Tyson enjoyed it.

And just as we said our goodbyes to Tyson we got word that Mike was officially made an Uncle (not through marriage)!!

After being in labor for 20 hours Mike's sister Angie & her hubby Dave welcomed a new baby boy, Dylan into this world on April 28th weighing 6lbs 10 ozs & was 20 inches long. Luckily Logan is only a few hours away & we were able to spend the weekend playing w/ Dylan (well when he wasn't sleeping & under the lights). He was a little jaundicy (spelling?) & got the privilege of "tanning" all through the day but we still enjoyed our time with him. It is funny how him & Landon (Amber's baby) are soo different but both Soo cute in their own little ways.

Aside from his long toes that would let him hang from a tree, I think one of Dylan's cutest little traits is his cry. It is probably one of the only crys I have heard where you really wanted to hear more. Mike calls him his little Velociraptor - listen and you'll understand why...

Well Angie & Dave I know you are EXHAUSTED but you did a great job w/ this fun little guy & I can't wait to see him again :) Congratulations!!!

(Can't you tell how much Mike love's this little guy)

All in a Week's Time...

My LITTLE (not in Heigth...obviously) Brother is getting ready to Serve a Mission in the Halofax, Canada Mission

We had his Mission farewell last Sunday & he did a GREAT job on his talk! I think for one of the First times he didn't look so much like my Little Brother but more as a Grown Man. Obviously, as you can see from the pic above, he is going to have to learn to keep on a suite longer than just a few hours for church but I know that he will serve a Great Mission & I am so proud of him!!!

And since the Entire Fam can't get Together without doing something Stupid & thinking we are funny...we have Exibit A:

Let me Explain...Mike & Josh are a little TOO Comfortable w/ my Family & because they love Tyson ohh Soo Much...They thought it would fun to Sport Mustache's at his farewell. Ok so Amber & I agree'd to let them have their moment of fun @ Tyson's expense but we definately weren't ready for the somewhat "gay" photos that would be taken as well. Sadly I have many more of these pics that we actually found quite Hilarious! Well, Ty I hope you know how much your Bro N' Laws Love Ya!!!

And because I can't have a post w/out a Collage of pics here are some more pics from the Farewell but because Tyson is still a teenager & its much cooler to be w/ friends than family...there really isn't any of him :( Well...we still had fun!! (Note: some of these pics won't make Any sense to the naked eye but they have meaning to me - so just know they are indeed funny!)

We also go the Pleasure to Celebrate our FIVE year anniversary this week (notice no Stache)!!

I am happy to say that we are even Happier than the day we were married!! Spending 5 well 6 (including dating) years w/ just eachother has made us Stronger! We have experienced alot of ups & downs together but our Marriage continues to stay strong! I LOVE that he is my husband!! And although our lives are different at 5 years than what we thought we would be doing at this time I know that it has created a Stronger bond between us & I just can't wait to see what happens next :)

I was in charge of our Anniversary this year & since Mike is in school we decided to do something "low budget". We both LOVE the Melting Pot so I created our own "Melting Pot" at home. Mike had to go work in the afternoon but when he got home our house had been transformed. I had created somewhat of a tunnel in our entry way so when Mike got home he could only go to the bathroom where he found some "nicer" clothes & a note for him. Afterwards he came out to see the "restaurant" & there we enjoyed Champaigne (sparkling Cider), Cheese Fondue & Chocolate Fondue! It was Soo Much fun & Very Romantic!!! Happy 5 Year Honey!!

Last but Not Least...My brother & his family moved to Lehi a few weeks ago & now our maybe twice a year visits w/ them have turned into twice a week!! It feels really nice to have family so close! They invited us to the Tulip Festival at Thanksgiving Point & it was soo pretty!! I have always wanted to see the Gardens before but never have so Thank You for going w/ us!!! Hopefully this will just be the beginning of many more memories w/ you!!

Now as for this week...Tyson is off to the MTC!!!!

Showers, Food & More

First off was a TRIPLE BABY SHOWER. Yes not One or Two but THREE. Mike's Sister's & Three Cousins (all Sisters) are all do pretty close (I bet you can't guess which pic below is of them all :). So it started Saturday morning w/ one, then went to another & lastly was Angie's. Mike and I drove up that morning so I only made it to Angie's but luckily they are all apart of the same family so I still got to see everyone. And really there should have been a 4th shower, but since it was Kori (mike's cousin) 2nd child she opted not to have one but talk about a day of Oooing & Aweing at all the adorable things they got. (Also Kori if you are reading this - THANK YOU for the gift & note. It was definatly unexpected but it really meant ALOT). At Angie's it was fun cause for an activity we got plain white onesie's & Markers & got to design pictures/sayings on them. Well, I am not very creative & only came up with "Not the Mamma" but I was really impressed w/ what the other girls came up with. Definately put mine to shame but I think she got some really cute ones that she may even use. Here are some pics:

Then it was Easter. My Brother Steve & his Family moved up to Lehi that weekend (YEAH WE FINALLY HAVE FAMILY CLOSE) so my parents & little bro came up to help them move so I decided to have Easter at our place w/ the fam & it was rather Yummy...if I do say so myself. My mom even put together a Easter Egg hunt for the little ones (too cold outside so Easter Egg hunt took place in our living room). The only downfall is that it was also Conference weekend but with all the moving & excitement I don't think I got much out of it so luckily they publish the talks in the Conference because I know it was a good one. I am glad they came up & I got to spend the last holiday w/ my bro Tyson before he leaves on his mission in TWO WEEKS. And I am soo happy to have family close! It has been a LONG time since Mike & I have had family by us closer than a 2 hour drive :( And I bet you can't guess what is coming up next???? You guessed it...PICS!! (mom I put the pretty one of you on there since I really didn't have much else w/ you in it ;)

And Lastly...........

I GOT BANGS!!! I may not look much different to you but I definately feel different when I look in the mirror. We'll see how long it lasts but it is fun to have a change =)